I have to do laundry at 6:00 AM, and then head to Schnucks for essential grub at 9:00 AM, and then come home and eat something substantial before starting my day officially, having (virtual) therapy at noon, and making (possible) plans for Thursday. Initially, I was going to go to the 'rents house on Thursday and take down ALL the Xmas decor and get a few other things done while I was out there, but the #stlwx states that it is going to be single-digit temps and 2+ inches of snow, so Thursday may not be a good day to do all that stuff. Friday might be better, might not be, we'll have to see.

But on the subject of "plans", I am trying not to make any. And essentially trying to not even think about the "Big Picture(TM)" future in any way whatsoever. Whatever happens, happens - and if it doesn't...well...no expectations :) Life is easier this way, and living in the Here and Now has been my motto for the better part of five years now (close to seven years, when I think about it). It's definitely been a long, winding journey of recovery and recouperation since leaving the city and going back to bumfxxx Pevely, Missouri, and then finally finding my "true home" in South St Louis County (where I am essentially from, and have lived before, and where I always felt the most comfortable). Old friendships from "P-Town" and before have dissolved away, lost contacts, good times had been had but they are long in the past, and I do not yearn for them whatsoever (never did). Some people in that (old) crowd are still pissing around Jefferson County, I am sure (some are just bound (or cursed) to live there), but I never liked the place. Too much instability with some of the folks out that way. Too many drugs everywhere you look. Too much "down on the farm"/rural attitudes from people who know nothing about farming nor actual rural living (it's one of those counties that neither see the brilliance of nature, nor the busyness of the city, nor the pleasantry of the suburbs - kind of a lower-suburbia, wanna-be rural type of a jurisdiction). In other words: Hell.

A lot of the family are in St Charles (which is a NOT part of St Louis - and the residents will tell you as much), and though many in the family make their way up there eventually, I still see it as just another Nowhereville - another place to exist without DOING much of anything. S St Louis County has nothing special to offer, either, but at least I know the place, and am "part" of the city in some ways (even though STL (the city + North/South Cities (all separated in some ways by old laws))) continuously gets worse and worse and worse as the years go by. South and West Counties are the only redeemable (and livable) parts of this region.

But, it is still America - which is a bad thing. I'd be smitten to move to Canada at some point, and just brave the cold and Winters for the opportunity to NOT have to deal with the forlorn and hubris-ridden Americana mindset. It seems this country sort of had it's shot, and it blew it, and now it is in a perpetual state of pretending to be something it is not (and that "thing" is relevant). I feel this mindset is only worsened when one goes Northward - towards Detroit, Chicago, anywhere in the upper-Midwest, basically. A sad ordeal, really - which is how I would more or less categorize the government and the culture in America - sad.

But, other places and other people may be seen/experienced, they may not be. Again, plans (of any kind) are not in my crosshairs.

Back soon