Or lack of affiliations.
And sorry for “being political” on this blog, but I just wanted to say a couple small things very fast.
In the past 1.5 years, almost two years, since going off of social media and also going off of all mainstream media consumption for the past year (yes, it was around the time COVID-19 hit The States, so it has been over a year now) – I have had time, and space, to not just reflect, but to do “long term deliberation” on what I had observed/read/watched over the course of 10+ years prior. Consuming all the things that were available to consume across the WWW during those 10+ years.
So what comes of this observing from a distance from a political perspective?
One thing I witnessed, above all else, and is far and away the most important thing to take away from “time spent away” is that both the “Far Right” and the “Far Left” are wrong.
The division of political parties should be (and at one time might have been) as minimally distant as possible. The “happy medium” is probably more essential than we citizens realize. Politicians may realize this, too – but, they are forced to take a side and then ride to the far reaches of their ideology as they can (and to the top of their party simultaneously). But as a result, literally everyone suffers.
I have no way of putting this eloquently, just that both sides have gone, and continue to go, too far in their respective political party affiliation's direction – both politicians and citizens play a role in this.
Now, some people may read this post and immediately insist I “choose a side right now”, but that is exactly the type of person I, as a free citizen, am against. I am not saying having an affiliation is a flaw – there is probably nuance and minutia in the reader's political affiliation (that never gets conveyed or listened to in conversation – because others are too angry and skilled at fault-finding to listen to anything other than wholesale ring-kissing of the (would-be) listener's ideology).
Keeping an open mind is the actual lifeblood of a functioning democracy, in my mind. That means having the courage to let someone “get the better of you”, or to “one up” you in conversation or/and debate. So, I stopped telling people what to believe, or how to argue, or anything like that – I just listen. No one is always right. No one is 100% correct and accurate. No one has all the answers.
Listen more. It's a strength, not a weakness. Trust me.
“Silk” by Wolf Alice. Heard this song (or, a small part of it) for the first time in the Trainspotting – T2 trailer, and it's a beautiful (and tragic) song. Pretty sure it is about drug addiction.
Anyway, I downloaded the Tidal app (again, because I deleted it on accident months ago), and I am glad I got it again, because it is better than listening to the Web player and needing to avoid closing that particular tab.
I would say this song follows the same sequence of ...instrumentation(?) as that of Paramore I Caught Myself, because it kind of all comes together at the end, and the end is the best part, as the beginning is a bit boring. About the same length of song, too, almost.
I originally sat down to listen to some Bob Dylan, because I was thinking of how brilliant his lyrics were/are, and I wanted to hear some crazy good shit like that. The Story of Hurricane and Stuck Inside A Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again are both brilliant, beautiful songs.
But back to the Paramore reference – if anyone reading this has not explored the catalog of Paramore, you really should. It is some of the coolest stuff I have ever heard, I swear. Anything off of All We Know Is Falling or/and Brand New Eyes will not leave you disappointed. The song I Caught Myself is off of the Twilight soundtrack, and never saw a release on an official Paramore album (I don't think), but you can find the song on YouTube. Also, their self-titled album was the soundtrack to my life at one point (2013/14). Awesome stuff.
Now, listening to Fast In My Car off self-titled.
Lightening storm outside.
I still have a Linode(.com) account, and I still have litecopy.site live (of course), but, I had the old “petri dish” of a VPS just sitting there with all kinds of junk files, and Terminal experiments gone wrong, and unnecessary stuff on it, so I deleted it. I also have $10 credit on my Linode account (from now on, I always keep a $10 credit on there in case I want to make a quick $5 “Nanode” or something real quick), so that's good.
I am going to “start fresh” with a new Nanode tonight, and I can always “upgrade” or “scale up” the server if I ever wanted to, or needed to.
I am also going to log in to GoDaddy and make sure my “old” domains do not renew, as I never ended up using most of them. The domains I am keeping are:
And that is it. The rest are going by the wayside.
Good to “clean up” sometimes, keep things simple ;)
I've gotten “lazy” when it comes to being at Inbox Zero. I usually have an e-mail, or two, or five sitting in my ProtonMail inbox, waiting to either be acted upon, or trashed, or whatever. Not because I don't “stay on top” of e-mails, but because there are (or were) SO MANY things that I opted in to (without my knowledge) when I used a certain app, service, business, or whatever.
So, I went through and using the handy-dandy PM “Unsubscribe” feature, I unsubbed from over a dozen e-mails (mostly from chain businesses) just now. I didn't mess with any of the newsletters, or anything like that – I like newsletters (especially when I deliberately sign up for them) – I just eliminated all the things I would consider “spam”.
Thing is, I check my Spam folder daily, and a lot of things go to spam, I have noticed. Not scammy/junk stuff, but critical things that require my attention for what I am doing on the Internet at that particular moment. Better than Gmail, though – that claims it has the “best” spam filters, when really it just sends everything to your inbox, and then monetizes it, and then collects data from it, and then claims that it is “not spam”. It actually wouldn't surprise me if Google ran ads withint he spam folder, itself, really.
Life should get a lot more sane now, and with a lot less notifications, I think. I hope.
It's 9:30 AM and I just had coffee out on the balcony. 70F, a little breezy, and cloudy just to the point where the sun is not out, but not “overcast” quite yet.
I run to Schnucks later this afternoon for XYZ items (a “big” grocery shopping trip, which is much needed), and I think it is supposed to rain a bit, too, and that is good news because I love warm rains :):)
Anyway, gonna be a nice day. Back later.
Negativity and toxicity are two different, but similar things. So, each get their own blog post.
I wrote over on olry|notes a brief bit about indie making and indie makers, and how some people “build in public”, but some in the scene do nothing more other than “brag openly”. That is toxic for almost anyone to see (unless they are positioning themselves to get bought-out by a bigger co). But what I want to say about the situation, is that I am removing any type of pseudo “inspo” I derive from these people, these “gatekeepers” (even though they are gatekeepers of nothing other than their own products, and nothing else). And on that note, I am not “deriving inspo” from anyone on the Internet. I prefer to be in my own world, doing my own thing, apathetic to what others are up to. What the hell is the difference between what one does IRL, and what one does on the Internet? It's just a bunch of people doing things, so what does it matter?
Just my thoughts
The blog post over on “olry|notes” is still live, but the link to it from this blog + the accompanying blog post I removed. I want to try to keep olry.co as a positive, helpful place.
Also, this makes me think of the history of one's writing – do I regret anything I wrote in the past several years? (spoiler: no), do I ever regret “writing for an archive”?, do I, or would I, consider the transfer of blog posts to another blog should I ever use a different platform?.
I mean, I sorta view blog posts as “moving media” (as Douglas Rushkoff would put it), and not exactly a big, permanent, “stackable media” archive – so I wouldn't ever move these blog posts to a different platform if I switched, I don't think. And I don't think I would ever download the archive of this blog, either. No need for that. And also, I say what I need to say at the time of the writing, and I never regret “writing for an archive”, because most people probably never look through this archive. That is why I am not concerned with having a search feature on this blog. What's new, and here, and Now is what is relevant/important – and that's all that matters.
Water is heating for coffee now, and I am listening to “Sun Goes Down” by Jim Yosef X ROY KNOX (a collaboration?), and it is definitely my favorite techno(ish)/dubstep song I have ever heard. Very intense.
I am actually not a big techno fan, but I am going to listen to some tracks that are recommended from this small, four song playlist I created and see where it leads me.
There is something about synthed out techno music that reminds me of the early-2000's (like 2001/02) and writing on a haphazardly put together blog on AOL, and staying up late writing after getting schnockered at the house(s) of other high school drop-outs on weekdays, and downloading some techno while I wrote and chatted on AIM.
There was no future to speak of back then. I mean, I was 17 and had my whole future in front of me, but to me, I only had a few years left because I was sure I was not going to live past 21. Very reckless. Had fun but it almost wasn't worth it. Almost.
Sometimes, I think of “what if” scenarios, like if I had “tried” in school, or done X thing differently or whatever the case – but, all of the alternatives would have involved maturing years past what I was mentally capable of at that time. It's almost like I had no other choice but to travel down the road of self-destruction.
Things may have changed now, but I still “come from” a history of being a burn-out. Makes for good memories/stories, and some bad ones, as well.
But if I were to name a single regret from that era (early-2000's), I would say joining the Army (for a total of six months before getting booted out) was the biggest regret of...my life, I suppose. There is far too much drama, stress, and adrenaline in the military, and I support anyone who wants to do it, and is up for it, but I was definitely not cut out for the job, at all. Especially when I had just spent 3+ years prior taking LSD at every opportunity I could. Imagine, being a tore up pseudo hippy loser, and having no direction nor care in the world – and then toss that person (me) into the war machine that is the U.S. Army, and say “good luck, kid”. Nightmare.
Word of advice (for anyone reading this): don't make decisions “too fast” in life. Think things through. And do exactly what you want at all times. That's all I can say.