I lay down for a little bit (on the floor, with the sleeping bag) and at least got my back realigned, so I am not in discomfort, seeing as I was already without sleep. And now, I am up at the desk, writing, and making coffee.

1:45 AM, not in the mood for a pipe on the balcony. Besides, the balcony can barely hold up without creaking and popping in GOOD/WARM weather, let alone when it is 15 degrees outside. I'm worried the fxxxing thing will collapse.

apartment dwelling

In the next couple years, I am going to move to a "REAL" apartment. Something with a fireplace (I would enjoy that immensely), and a bit of room to spread out, too, I would hope. There is an apartment complex not dissimilar to what I describe directly across the street from where I live (not the garbage, criminal apartments - but a different complex on the other side of this property). They have fireplaces, hardwood floors, and fairly decent grounds - but, the management there sucks (I've heard about it time and time again), and the grounds I find are too dense, to where there are almost no trees on the property because it is just wall-to-wall buildings. Not to mention (or TO mention) a bad Brown Recluse problem that many have talked about. So, that place is definitely off the list, lol!

The "goal", or "wish", of mine is to go "smaller but nicer". Meaning, I could move into an apartment about this size (430 sq ft), or even smaller, but nicer in materials within the apartment, itself - nicer grounds (property), nicer appliances (though, all of mine in this apartment are currently only a year old), nicer leasing office (that plays a big role in having a halfway decent community, lemme tell ya - listening is the key. Do they actually listen to the residents they rent to).

Now, there are a number of places like this in the West St Louis County area - small, nice, and some even with vaulted ceilings and a fireplace, but I wouldn't know anyone out that way, would be fairly inconvenient (though, West County is beyond nice in terms of low crime rate, decent people, etc. Essentially, it is where all the doctors and Cardinals baseball players live. Nice.).

But at the same time, it's like: do I NEED anything fancy AT ALL? Where I am at now is fairly ok. Good property, good neighbors, etc. - just very old buildings (that haven't been maintained to the best of what's possible (and they were built 40 years ago!)).

But...whatever. It is not worth thinking about right now.

smoking/reading

Instead, I pack a pipe of VA/Per tobacco and see in the morning (2:00 AM now). A pipe is one of those things you can get lost in - like browsing the Internet, or a good book, or a coding/development session - something that takes your mind off things, while simultaneously sort of "working things out" in the back of your mind. For me that is what reading books has always been about. I read what is in front of me, pay attention to most of it, and recall much of what is read (dwell on it, actually - or even put it through a stage of intellectual ferment, to a certain degree), but, it is always what is going on in the back of my mind what is important. Thoughts, ideas, moods, feelings - a build up of mental energy (or perhaps simply knowledge), a sharper view of not only the book, but of things in life, in general. Sort of like seeing the world through a different spectrum for a good while. It (reading) effects my writing (perhaps improves it a bit), effects how I feel about things in life, and I sort of "work through" things (old things, new things, relevant things, superfluous things) in my head, and just sort of "observe" them for a bit. It's weird.

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